My day with Gnorman, Asda's super-selling 3ft gnome

There are days when my activities at work venture into the surreal.

Sometimes I am tied up with food prices and fears over soaring energy bills, and sometimes I am escorting a 3ft garden gnome around the streets of London.

Today, it was the latter which kept me - and Gnorman - out of trouble for a couple of hours.

Gnorman, I should say was sent to me by Asda, he is the latest in garden must-haves and is flying off the shelves at a rate of G-nots (see what I did there?!).

There was a bit of an incident though, at the end of last week, which saw his travelling ambitions almost scuppered.

A previous Gnorman was sent to me and arrived at my desk red-hatted and smiley-faced ready for a life in the limelight.

But in a flurry of excitement on the floor of the Daily Express newsroom, he ended up in two pieces.

An over-amorous colleague managed to snap him in two, and a replacement was quickly ordered.

Gnorman the First has been laid to rest in a cupboard in the office, and will no doubt be unearthed by someone in years to come.

New Gnorman arrived this week and was finally given a tour of London today.

Of course it was all a bit of fun, and I have to say most of it was had by me.

Especially from the bemused joggers and shoppers who gave more than the odd glance in my direction.

Joking aside Gnorman, is the fastest-selling outdoor accessory ever - that’s according to Asda.

And after our day together he was whisked to a secret location in London, where he will live out the rest of his days in serenity.

However I did have a bit of fun with Gnorman before he left, and in a nod to the great Basil Fawlty, re-enacted one of my favourite sitcom scenes.

Anyone who has seen "the Builders" will remember when the hapless hotel owner marched off threatening to insert a gnome in an Irish builder..

I'll leave the rest to your imaginations......