Open your own door

What is the etiquette when it comes to opening doors for people?

We Brits are a nation known for our politeness and willingness to put others’ convenience before our own (mostly), so surely it’s always appropriate to hold the door as someone approaches.

But I have recently had cause to change my opinion on this age-old tradition which is  recognised as a sign of good act of manners.

And yes, at the root of my desire to change a habit of a lifetime is irritation, I have realised my eagerness to show grace and decorum is rarely matched by those I offer it to.

Specifically this week when I stood in the freezing cold to prop the door open for a woman who barely glanced at me as she continued a conversation on her mobile.

It wasn’t as if she was right behind me, I had to donate an extra 10 seconds of my life to make sure she didn’t have the inconvenience of taking the handle and pulling  it for herself.

Not so much as a nod of gratitude in my direction.

Then there are the times when you hold the door for someone who considers themselves above you, and you are returned with a look that says “could make sure you wear the gloves next time you do that”.

I never used to let it bother me, but persisted in my quest to save others the trouble of touching handles or swiping cards to get through a doorway.

But now, quite frankly, they can bog off.

I am always flattered if someone smiles at me and ushers me through with an “after you”, it really is one of the small graces that the ever-modernising British culture retains.

I admit there is usually the re-enactment of  a scene from strictly come dancing as we both foxtrot around each other going “no, I insist you first,” “No, no really, after you”.

Then there is the situation I was faced with the other day when a colleague and I embarked on this show of politeness in front of a set of closing lift doors – neither of us made it to the top floor.

So it is time to move with the times and think only of myself?  Who cares if someone else has to wear themselves out opening their own door?  Not my problem.

And it might not be such a bad thing, because I am not sure just how convenient this slice of etiquette actually is.

When someone opens the door for me and I am still half a mile down the road, I have to run to accept their gesture of kindness, and that irritates me.

“Just leave it rather than standing there looking impatient” I think to myself as I run towards the door beaming with smiles of gratitude, keys jangling and phones dropping out of my pocket.

And when the boot is on the other foot I find myself standing, handle in fist, thinking “Oh get on with it, I haven’t got all day” as I grin and assert it has been a “pleasure”.

Am I the only one who faces this daily conundrum?