Why is it so difficult to get decent business cards?

Sometimes someone comes up with an offer that’s just too good to turn down.

I have been meaning to get some good-quality business cards printed for a while.

A string of disasters doing it on the not-cripplingly-expensive has led me to believe that when it comes to business cards - often the only thing  important people have to remember you by - it’s worth investing the money.

I have almost wept over some of the pathetic attempts so-called professionals have had the gall to send back to me.

Some printed on paper like toilet roll, others with blurred, amateurish print, and the worst - a set with “Done on the cheap by Vistaprint” or some such rubbish embossed on the back.

Thank you very much, but if you want me to go around promoting your company you can pay me for the privilege.

They went straight in the bin and a mental note was made never to use that particular firm again.

Anyway, these past few weeks I have been meaning to get a new set done, but I want them to be sturdy, sharp and professional.

So when the following was tweeted to me ... well how could I resist.

They sound like consummate professionals wouldn’t you say?

“We do printing at low cost business card and flayers” Do we now?

Does “unique-printing” even know what that nonsense means? 

Although I have very high expectations of accuracy, I am aware I make the odd typo or grammatical blunder. With the amount of words I churn out in a day running into the thousands, I sort of expect to make the odd one or two.

But in a one-line tell sell to promote my business? I think I would try to come across a bit more competent than this.

Here are my observations on this fruitless ploy for business (if it is a genuine one).

“hi” is not an appropriate way to greet a potential client, and if you must it should be “Hi”.

“We at unique-printing we do” - I’m sorry? What? 

“We do printing at low cost business card and flayers” apart from being the most idiotic sentence I have ever seen, what is a “flayer”?

“if you need any thing” - anything is one word.

“get back to me .” - sloppy to leave a gap before the full stop.

So here is my response to the time wasters who sent me this tweet.

I think you are in the wrong trade - i.e., one that relies on grammar, spelling and an ability to provide a polished final product.

I would not use your company to write my shopping list for me, let alone my business cards.

And finally, please don’t take up any more of my twitter feed with your shoddy, spamming rubbish.

By the way if anyone knows any good business card providers, please let me know @expressnathan