They try to make me go to rehab...

Shivers, cravings, lethargy, mood-swings, sweats, cramps...how the hell did I get myself hooked?

That's right, I confess, I'm a junkie. 


Without my daily fix I'm ready to scratch the emulsion off the walls with just my finger nails.

I used to be a smoker - three in the morning before I could see in focus, 10 in the evening, around 15 in between with another in the middle of the night if I woke up.

Copious Nicotine Replacement Therapy and a natural reserve of willpower helped me kick the habit. Nine years later - clean.

I haven't been averse to the odd drink either.

Collapsing on the sofa with a bottle of wine each night was a ritual for years.

A friend bought be one of those fancy bottle sealers to plug the neck after a glass or two - they must have had a sense of humour, I never used it.

Realising I was dangerously close to another addiction, I kicked Mr Merlot to the kerb with relative ease. Eight years later - dry.

But this is something else, and what's more this latest chemical dependance has not been my fault.

Ok, nobody forced me to take my first hit, but nobody told me I was about to embark on another journey down the yellow brick road to addiction.

But here I am, a slave once again to an endorphin-clad dominatrix, a seemingly innocent white crystal - sugar.

Expecting something more exciting? Don't be fooled, it is a jealous and possessive captor, and is deceptively habit-forming.

It won't give you lung cancer, or liver cirrhosis, but this poison comes with its own telltale sign - you get fat.

I never used to touch the stuff, or anything with it in.

But after the odd hob-nob in the evening became a regular treat, I progressed to vacuum-guzzling a family sized bag of M and Ms before eventually I was hiding a 50-a-day Cadbury Finger habit.

I never thought of sugar as a seriously addictive substance, but be under no illusions, it is.

Experts have redefined it from "foodstuff" to "white chemical extracted from plant sources" - sound familiar?

Although research on its effects is ongoing, and still largely inconclusive, there is evidence it increases brain levels of the feel-good chemicals dopamine and serotonin - like ecstasy and methamphetamine.

A catalogue of nasty effects on the body has been reported including immune suppression, anxiety, heart disease, and the sugar-user's equivalent to a coke head's missing septum - obesity.

It is also really hard to give up and like fags and booze, despite starting small you can be taking lethal doses before you know it.

And addicts are devious.

They won't acknowledge the office cake trolley for fear of letting their calorie-controlled halo slip, but when safely out of sight it's straight down to the donut shop.

A skillful user visits a different dealer each time so not to give the game away.

They demand more and more to satisfy their need as it swells to a colossal, doughy marshmallow of a habit.

One piece of chocolate now prepares my palate for the rest of the family-sized bar which inevitably follows.

After offering me a biscuit with a cup of tea, a friend plonks two bourbons onto a plate before returning the packet back to the cupboard, the same pal I think who gave me the bottle stopper - I need new friends.

Luckily I have so far escaped the worst of its effects - no jaffa cake-shaped spare tyre around my middle.

But it is time to kick the habit. The cupboards have been emptied and sterilised and I have stocked up with an arsenal of stevia (a plant-based sweetener) and aspartame-loaded replacement therapies.

It is not going to be easy but I have succeeded before, and if Robert Downey Jr can do it, so can I.


Any tips will be gratefully received!

Two weeks of sugary snacks puts your heart in danger Follow @ExpressNathan